dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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