apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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