it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
