Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
