Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
