Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
