i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
