she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
