i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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