I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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