Just fell off a train. Bad.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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