How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We have started to decorate penises.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
