Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Randomize