I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
