Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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