Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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