i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
