Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
