So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i just google imaged poop.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
