there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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