Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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