The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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