I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
i need some magic done to my vagina
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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