Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
so that wasnt chicken after all
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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