fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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