Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
