I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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