We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize