you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
