Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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