you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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