it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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