Porn is love you can see.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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