32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
