He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
