When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize