your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
