hell yes lets make some ravioli
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
