Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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