I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
