can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
