We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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