Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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