You're my little dorito
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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