Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
