why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize