My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
