he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
