im about as happy as oj after his trial
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
