There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
