Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
