You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize