afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
