Soap is not a condiment
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
