i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
whose ass print is on the piano?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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