I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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