Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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