I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
