Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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