Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize