Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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