I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
