You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
