and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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